uh
by um yeah no
Summary: Okay, Rin. You need to calm down. You woke up at 5:40AM for this. It's a serious mission. You are going to do it. You are going to look down at Len's godly, snotty, drool-covered face, and you're going to look in his godforsaken eyeballs, not to mention really romantically, and you going to say, "I FREAKING LO -" Oh. / RinLen noncest / a silly oneshot / what is titles.


I walk into his bedroom.

And touch his face while he is sleeping.

Yeah, that sounds pretty creepy. I have to agree. This is _definitely _weird and all – kind of touching Len's face while he's snoring and drooling and definitely not looking angelic – but… I have my reasons.

Just like, I need to poke him or something. I mean, to wake him up. The reason I'm here is to wake him up.

Whilst touching his face, and staring into his eyes romantically.

Not.

Oh God, I am crying. Of course, from laughter, not sadness – well, because I am extremely embarrassed. Seriously – what _am_ I doing here? Why did I listen to Miku? God, did she put some sort of follow-everything-Miku-says drug in my chai latte this morning or what? I knew this was a bad idea.

This is a very bad idea.

Shit. What is life?

"…Ri-_Rin?_"

Okay, Rin. You need to calm down. You woke up at 5:40AM for this. It's a serious mission. You are going to do it. You are going to look down at Len's godly, snotty, drool-covered face, and you're going to look in his godforsaken eyeballs, not to mention really romantically, and you going to say, "I FREAKING LO -"

Oh.

Len looks at me, his eyes wide open. My hand is still touching his face.

Well, this is kind of awkward.

Ha – _no – _scratch that. This is _very awkward_.

So I improvise off the top of my exhausted, dumb, teenager, hormonal head. I rub his face and then slap him on the cheek three times. "Good morning, my little sunshine. The day is bright and beautiful and the sky is blue like your… um, bedroom walls. So, um… I'm just going to- OKAYTHANKSBYESEEYOUONMONDAY."

I quickly attempt to army roll across his bedroom floor and crawl out into his hallway, before limping down the stairs at what you would call an _inhuman speed_. It felt pretty great. Being inhuman, I mean. Like, yeah. Pretty cool.

I pass Len's mother in the hallway. "Going so soon?" she asks, partially alarmed because I kind of sprint past her. "But I made pancakes."

SHE'S SO CUTE. SHE MADE ME PANCAKES. _OH GOD._

Len's mum reminds me of a daffodil. Like, I don't even know why, but she does. I even told her about my stupid plans for today – and she was kind of more excited than I was – maybe she was expecting me to like, be successful or whatever… because I don't know.

Somehow, I find myself in the kitchen staring at a plate of those delicious heavenly round cakes. Wait – how did I get here?

"How long does Len take to wake up?" I ask, cramming one into my mouth.

His mother stares at me, in slight awe. "Maybe around 10 minutes." I've already eaten two within thirty seconds. I think I might die.

"Fantastic," I say with my mouth full.

Yeah. He um, doesn't take 10 minutes to wake up. Well, not today. Within two seconds after I speak, I hear the sound of his feet hitting the stairs hastily, so I dive under the kitchen table stealthily like a ninja, and mentally scream because there is a collection of Daddy Long Legs staring right back at me.

Len's feet pass right by my buttocks. "Where's Rin?" he asks his mum.

"Who's Rin? What is this 'Rin'?" she asks back, aloof.

"You know, the girl with blonde hair and the height of a Munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. Probably the only person you would cook pancakes for on a Saturday morning," he responds bluntly.

The height of a _Munchkin?_ Well it's not like you're exactly a tall person, either, butthead.

His mother chortles. "Maybe you were dreaming, Len," she says airily. "Why don't you go back to bed and continue to fulfil your fantasies with that wonderful girl called Rin?"

Len doesn't say anything; he kind of just exhales loudly like he's frustrated. He sits at the kitchen table and almost kicks me in the face. "She woke me up at _8:30_. In the middle of a great dream," he complains, the sounds of knives and forks clacking against the plate surface. Well, I'm _sorry_, you ungrateful little shit. "Seriously, what is going on?"

It's the apocalypse, Len. You're going mad.

A few seconds later, the odds go against my favour because my luck is just exponentially great, and he manages to knock his fork onto the floor. He bends over, looks directly at me while grabbing his fork, and then sits up straight.

– Then bends over again.

I look at him. He looks at me. I look at him. He looks at me. "…What are you doing underneath the dinner table?"

I shrug.

"Scratch that – what are you doing in my house at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday?" he then demands.

I shrug again, and then point out, "I regret nothing."

Actually, I do. I regret ever being born because all I've ever done is embarrassed myself, but…

"I woke up to you touching my face and pulling faces like you were constipated," he remarks.

"I was channelling the Gods by using your soul," I answer. "And then I was going to finish you like I did to those pancakes."

Len stares at me. "You don't know how bad that sounded."

"It sounded less awkward in my mind," I say.

"Why are you in my house?"

"It was Miku's idea."

"I figured."

"Yeah." I kind of just sit there, underneath his table, not really chilling because I'm currently freaking out, like, _hello?_ People do not just walk into your house, sit beside your bed and caress your face while you're sleeping. Especially people of opposite genders, who've been friends since like, they could essentially walk.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're really here?"

"Probably not."

He sits up straight, before pushing out his chair and getting onto his hands and knees, ducking his head to fit under the table. "Do I have to torture you for the answer?" he questions.

"Well, you don't have to, really. Like, you could just go back to your room so I could crawl out of here and then go home, and we could all forget this event of awkwardness ever happened and meet on Monday and pretend I did not try to wake you up on Saturday by holding your face and gazing into your eyes romantically," I reply.

"Gazing into my eyes romantically?"

"I know that didn't really happen, but could we both forget I said that, also?"

He starts to tickle me, and I'm like, NOOOOOOOOO, because on the long, horrible list of things that come with being Rin Kagamine is the characteristic of being very, very ticklish. And on the list that comes with being Len, there's an instinct to know that Rin is very ticklish.

"DON'T TOUCH ME OR I'LL PEE ON YOU," I scream violently. I try wriggling away, but he traps me with his annoying, sudden, puberty strength and grins.

This is bad. Miku did not rule through the outcome tickle torture when we had our rendezvous at 6AM in McDonalds. But she did say, "If worse comes to worse, either become naked or just start making out with him."

I recall being like, "Well, God I hope that doesn't happen." Being naked is more like Miku's forte, not mine.

"There's a likelihood it could, though," Miku had responded. "We're dealing with a crazy 17 year old girl who is still a virgin and only went on one date which turned out to be a disaster, and her life-long crush slash best friend who is irresistibly attractive and has dated at least sixty females within the past two years."

She has a point. I am crazy and Len is irresistibly attractive.

So I do the stupidest, silliest, craziest, worst thing I have ever decided on doing – I throw my arms around Len's neck, pull him down to my face and kiss him on the lips.

There is a chance may possibly have to evacuate this city, change my name and dye my hair forever, because this may backfire like Chernobyl. And I don't think I want to ever see Len again if the worst happens. I don't think I want to see like, any other human again. Or think about having another relationship. It kind of proves the point that I am 100% unattractive, cannot kiss at all and will never find my one true love.

To my complete and utter surprise, Len does not shove me away and look at me with disgust.

He moves his arms around my waist and pulls me closer, his lips moving against mine.

I think I'm paralysed from shock for a few seconds. My brain just kind of goes like – _what is happening? What the hell? How? _

So, yeah… this is sort of my first kiss. I'm technically allowed to kind of freak out, okay?

Len goes to pull away abruptly, but ends up hitting his head on the table. "Shit," he cusses, dropping me all of a sudden.

Okay, the romance just died.

"Ow," I mutter, as he crawls out from under the table. God, did he just realise he doesn't like kissing me after all? He just drops me in the middle of it all and pulls away.

Len then appears on the other side and helps me out from under the table. "Sorry," he mumbles, "I just kind of remembered we were in the kitchen, under the table, making out."

"Oh," I say. Well, yeah, okay, that makes sense. "How's your head?"

He screws up his face. "Sore."

"Do you want ice for it?" I ask carefully.

Len shakes his head, and then grins, before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. "So the reason you came to my house was to make out with me, huh?"

I shrug, as he helps me up. "Um, not really. I was supposed to confess my undying love for you or something."

"Undying?" he asks. "What, is it a zombie?"

I could tell he was only just joking. "Well, yeah, it's kind of been waiting for fifteen or sixteen odd years to be finally told," I say.

Len grabs hold of my hand and squeezes it. "Can't tell you how long mine has been waiting, really," he mentions, looking down at me with his bright blue eyes. It's funny. It feels like just a while ago, we were still the same height.

I smile. "I love you, Len Kagamine."

"Well, I love you too, Rin Kagamine."

* * *

This story literally went like: hey I'm a funny story... no I'm not I'm a complete waste of your time because I'M CLICHÉ AND CHEESY SORRYNOTSORRY.


End file.
